Mr. O’Connor, the first of your films that I saw was Francis Lee’s directorial debut, God’s Own Country. What did that role mean to you?
I think it changed the course of my career completely, and the obvious reason is that people saw me in it and they liked what they saw, and it got me other jobs. But there’s another reason that I think is actually more significant than that, which is that I met Francis Lee. And although we haven’t yet made another movie together, he’s been a great collaborator and friend to me, and the process of making that film taught me so much about what my limitations are.
What do you mean?
It showed me what I can do, what I can’t do, what I can do as long as I understand the sacrifice that I have to make. It showed me a really clear process, it showed me what I need to do in order to create a character who is alive. It’s one of those movies where it just really had an influence. When I meet people who love that movie, it only brings me joy, because it was such a beautiful experience, so special.
“For me, the dream is to have a career where I can look back and go, ‘I played this many roles, and they were all so different.’”
It seems like you value your relationship with directors very deeply.
I’ve been very fortunate that the people I’ve worked with have shown this special kind of kindness. It’s important to have an environment on set that is conducive with making good work, and it’s nice to go to work and want to go to work, and be with your pals, the people you respect and like. That was really the case recently with Kelly Reichardt on The Mastermind. Kelly is really invested, in going to work with people that she really likes, but it’s about more than just the way she works. She cares about what you think. She cares about whether you’re doing okay. And that goes a long way when you make a movie.
Is that how you go about choosing your projects?
There are obvious choices; I always wanted to work with Kelly, so you can take that off the list, right? And for the rest, there’s a lot of luck involved. More often than not, you’re just lead by the character, by the story… For me, the dream is to have a career where I can look back and go, “I played this many roles, and they were all so different. I did comedy, I did drama, I did art house, I did studio…” I want to have a rich life where I can look back and be proud of what I’ve achieved in my career. So yeah, it’s kind of case by case, and sometimes, you do get it right.
Do you ever get it wrong?
Well, there’s been the odd occasion where I’ve let something go or not fully understood something. And then you see it come out, and you’re like, “My god, that was good. I’d love to have been involved in that.” Or sometimes I’ve auditioned for things, and haven’t got them and you curse the person who did. But then you see it and they’re brilliant. So it varies! But I will say that I stand by everything I’ve done so far.
With good reason — you’ve been working a lot the last few years, including leading several major studio films. How has that been for you?
I mean, the upsides are wonderful. This year alone, I’ve been in New York, I’ve been in Scotland and I spent some time last year walking around the most beautiful countryside with my friend Paul Mescal while working on The History of Sound; listening to beautiful music, singing, playing the piano, you know, sitting by camp fires. It was gorgeous. It was a really nice way to spend your time. Being with all these sorts of brilliant people… The upsides are really significant.
What about the downsides?
The downsides, of course, are that you sometimes miss those connections with your family, with your friends, with your own self. That’s the big one. It’s almost like not having a sort of grounded feeling, which we all relate to, we all need that sometimes. I have four films coming out this year, I’ve been doing press for them all, and it’s really made me go, “Okay, time to step back a little bit, just for for a period of time.” So that’s my plan. I love seeing friends, my family — I’m very committed to my family, and I love spending time with them, I love doing pottery and embroidery, and I have all sorts of other outlets that really give me so much satisfaction. So I want to get back to those for a bit.
“When you become an actor, a professional actor, working regularly, there’s a big psychic shift that has to happen…”
Are you good at not working?
Well, we have to sit with it. You can’t know until you do it. I’m in a very privileged position where I can take a bit of time off and be in my life. I don’t really like to sit around though, so in that time off, my hope would be to volunteer to try and do things that are of value, but just not necessarily acting.
Would you say that your relationship to acting has changed over the years?
It’s certainly changed. It’s an ever-changing truth, like any career. There’s something that happens when you become an actor, which isn’t talked about enough and is probably true for any craft: first, it is your passion, it’s your hobby. And then you go to drama school, and it’s this exciting thing, because you meet people who also share the love of the hobby. Then you have some years, in my case quite a few years, of auditioning, trying to become an actor, become an actor, become an actor. And then you become an actor, a professional actor, working regularly, and there’s a big psychic shift that has to happen: the thing that was my personal individual spiritual hobby has its downside.
Because it’s now your job?
Right, it’s your profession! When you’re a kid, you do the school play. It’s like three weeks of a year. It’s so exciting and it’s brilliant. It’s done. You go out of school. Now it’s my life, and I think I’ve always been conscious that I love acting. I’m so grateful to be an actor. It’s a beautiful career. I get to see the world. I’ve done amazing things. I’m so proud of what I’ve done. I’m very grateful, and I feel very lucky, but I also know that I have other interests. So it’s just about balance. That’s my big thing: trying to find a bit of balance in my career.